Three years ago I ventured out on my own with two children for the first time in my husband’s jeep. Everything about the trip felt awkward and unfamiliar – being out in the middle of the sunshiny day instead of at work, driving a larger vehicle, and figuring out how to manage a two year old and a baby carrier. Mostly, it wasn’t what was happening that bothered me, but what might possibly happen that I didn’t know scared me more.
That day, we went to Target and then to the nearby farm stand. We looked at the fish pond. I tried to relax and enjoy my time. I remember being nervous and trying overly hard to be brave.
Today, ironically, I saw a picture from that day three years ago and we just happened to be making a Target run and picking up a honeysuckle bush from the farm. When we pulled into the farm, the girls asked to look at the fish pond. I couldn’t help thinking how much has changed in three years.
Mostly, I’m happy with the changes. It didn’t take me long to feel like a pro at dragging two kids around, I do have two hands after all, I realized. I’m much happier with my work, with my days, with the scheduled time I can spend with my girls. And I like thinking that even when something feels new, unfamiliar, and awkward, it will only be that way for a short time, until it becomes familiar. Sometimes, facing the unknown and punching it in the face it necessary, even when we are terrified of it, is the best way to get on with life.